Traditionally, resilience has been defined as the ability to recover quickly from difficulties, much like a rubber band snapping back into shape. The Oxford Dictionary even frames it as “recovering quickly or resisting being affected by misfortune.” But when applied to every day human experiences, this definition can create unrealistic expectations—that we must return to our “old selves” after hardship.

Resilience is often described as “bouncing back,” but that phrase hardly scratches the surface. True resilience is not about bouncing back to who you were before a challenge. It’s about adapting, learning, and sometimes transforming into someone stronger, wiser, and more compassionate. To truly understand resilience, we need to explore both what it is and what it is not.